The two patient stories below may help guide our patients as they think about this choice.
Why we chose not to meet our donor
We decided to use an anonymous donor because we wanted to keep an emotional distance from the donor. After years of infertility, we wanted to see this child as a product of our relationship and we did not want direct contact with the donor. Since we will be going through the pregnancy, birth, and raising the child, the donor's contribution seems minimal in comparison to our contribution of a lifetime. Also, we see this process as very personal and private. We have not told anyone we are going through egg donation, and we do not want our identities disclosed to anyone.
Why we decided to meet our donor
Although we got a good feeling from the donor's profile and essay, we felt that we wanted to be able to talk with her and get to know her. After all, this person is contributing half of the genetic material! We were very nervous about meeting, and we found out that she was too. We asked her questions about her family and interests and she asked us some questions about what we had been through. I am really glad we met. When we tell our child about the egg donation, we will be able to tell him or her about their genetic parent and our meeting with the donor. I will have a picture to show and we are saving the profile. The donor said she would be willing to be contacted when our child reaches 18 and can answer any questions she may have. I think the child is entitled to this information and I want him or her to know that we really liked the donor.